Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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