I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
