so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
