did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize