He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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