literally had 100 drinks last night.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
