everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The best revenge is premature balding
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
