I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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