We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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