Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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