went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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