Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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