Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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