I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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