If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
