Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
