just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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