i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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