I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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