Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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