then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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