Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
