If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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