why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize