I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i drank out of a bidet.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
