so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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