The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think my moral compass just broke
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
