Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
