Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
