its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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