Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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