She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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