you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
