just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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