woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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