Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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