I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize