Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
