Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
