forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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