when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I did not marry a roomba.
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