Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
