on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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