yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
