I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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