they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
