My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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