I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
