we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
