I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
