IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize