Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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