i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
