He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
