you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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