I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
