Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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