I'm lost and stupid without you.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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