i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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