y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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