i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
