i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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