why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
