I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
